WPR010: Utilizing Conflict to Strengthen Your Marriage with Chuck Starnes

Conflict doesn't have to mean trouble in your relationship. In fact, learning how to navigate conflict can be the single most important skill in maintaining a healthy long-term relationship.

by Sarah Argenal
How you and your spouse can look deeper at what you’re fighting about to truly grow as individuals and to strengthen your marriage.

Episode Summary:

In this episode we chat with Chuck Starnes who is a marriage coach in San Jose, California.  Chuck and I really dive deep on one of the topics that I know so many of you really struggle with: how to stay connected with your spouse when you’re raising a family and managing your career and running a household… there are just so many things that can pull us off track in our relationship, and Chuck’s advice and insights are so on point.

In this episode we talk a lot about why conflict doesn’t have to be a bad thing in your relationship, and in fact, why experiencing conflict in your relationship really means you’re probably with the perfect person.  We also dive into some specific tools couples can use to re-connect if they’ve been feeling distant or if they’ve been bickering with each other more than usual.  And we’ll talk about how we can look deeper at what we’re fighting about to REALLY grow as individuals and to strengthen our marriage.

Chuck Starnes has a Master’s degree from Pepperdine University and over 20 years of experience in pastoral counseling working with marriages.  His marriage coaching has been highly effective in helping couples reconnect and restore intimacy in their relationship.  He and his wife Sandy have been married for 36 years, have two daughters and two grandchildren, and live in San Jose, California.  Chuck is also a member of the American Association of Pastoral Counselors.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • We chat about some of the hidden reasons why couples fight, especially after they become parents. The things we tend to attribute to our marital discourse aren’t usually the REAL problems that needs to be solved.
  • We discuss the deeper, subconscious reasons why we encounter conflict with our partners, and how we can start to use those times of conflict to re-connect and become stronger individually.
  • Chuck shares specific tools we can use to “baby-proof” our relationship.


Show Notes:  http://WorkingParentResource.com/10

Resources & Links Mentioned in this Episode:

Chuck Starnes Website

Chuck Starnes Blog

Chuck Starnes Facebook

Chuck Starnes LinkedIn

Chuck Starnes Twitter

Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix

Gary Brainerd, Certified Imago Trainer

Working Parent Resource Website

Facebook Community

About the Working Parent Resource:

The Working Parent Resource is dedicated to helping ambitious working parents acquire the information, insights, and tools they need to create a more intentional and fulfilling life that reflects their deepest values and priorities.  Sarah Argenal, the host of the Working Parent Resource Podcast, has her Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy and Adult Development, and is a Certified Professional Coach with over 15 years of experience in counseling, coaching, teaching, course development, and project management. You can access episode Show Notes and learn more about the Working Parent Resource at http://WorkingParentResource.com.

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This show was sponsored by the Working Parent Resource.  We offer a carefully curated archive of Resources, a diverse suite of coaching opportunities, in-person and online communities, and much more.  Check it out here:  http://WorkingParentResource.com.


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